The Little Things That Bring You Joy!

This is Trace Micheal Austin. In this picture he is sucking his thumb. Who is he you ask? Well at this moment he is living in the belly of my best friend Tori Austin (She was married March 15th!!!!) I could not be more happy for her and Ryan, they've had a lot that they've had to over come in life but at the end of the day they've always loved one another and THEY MADE IT!!!!! This little guy will be joing the us near the end of Augest and Tommy and I will be there not too long after to give him and the rest of the happy family a big hello. Sorry, this makes me very happy. Tori and I have always wanted families of our own, we were born to be mothers, to be wifes and there were many times where we both thought that it would never happen (like when I lost Tommy, and she lost Ryan) but we all found our way back to one another and have found a way to make it work. I moved across the country to be with my guy and Tori is now married and a prego! Life is good. So that is my besties joy that I wanted to share with you all, now on to MY joy!!!!

Bet you though I was gonna say I was preggers too huh? No, not yet guys, trust me you'll know when I am.

No my joy are these two, my two joys. I love them both so much it's crazy, and here they are playing PS3 and looking way too cute for words.....Let me tell you all.....Life is GOOD!!!!!!

What can you do?

So much is going on in all of our lives, sometimes I have to just take a step back...Breathe...and remind myself we're all human, and we all have a path in life that sometimes may have a bump or two in it and we'll just have to get back up and keep going.

It's painful to watch a loved one make the wrong choices though, I know that most will say "well it's not your place to say what a wrong or right choice is, it's that person's" but to that I say screw off. It is my place when the one making the choice is someone I love very much, and would do anything for. There are times in life when we all get scared, like when it's time to face the fact that you're an adult and every dission you make (large ones) can affect the outcome of your future, or that moment you say "I do" on your wedding day how even though you know that this is the happiest moment of your life...you can't help but be scared of all the bad that may or may not come, or the first time you hold your child and no matter how many other kids you've held or taken care of you still get that rush of fear and that scary thought of "I have no idea what I'm doing." Gosh even the first day of a new job! Fear is everywhere and it grips at you, taking a tight hold and some people are able to deal with that in a rational way while others feel this burning need to run, or change, or things of that sort.

Gah I had a point to this but my mind is all frazzled...I'll write more later.

Black No. 1

Yeah you wanna go out

'cause it's raining and blowing.

You can't go out

'cause your roots are showing.

Dye 'em black.

Dye 'em black.

Loving youLoving you,

Love loving you

Was like loving the dead.

Was like fucking the dead.

Ok, so I went to my blog page and this was the song that came on. Mawha! Sorry, it's one of my favorite songs by them, that and Heaven in Hell...And Hit Me Baby One More Time...and We Hate Everyone...And Bloody Kisses...And ok most of their songs.

Any who, it's 9 something right now on a Sunday morning and I can't sleep. If we had eggs, bacon and well any kind of breakfest food I'd be making Tommy our weekend breakfest...See every weekend I wake up early and cook him this HUGE breakfest..It's our weekend tradition but we're broke as a joke right now so all we have is bread (there is this store here where Tommy got 4 loafs of Wonder Bread for $2.5o..I think he said $2.50 it was something with a two) cheese and then meat for dinner. It sucks but we're waiting for our Food Stamps Card which should be comming Monday (I really hope) and then my tax return check (which will be mailed out on the 4th) soon too PLUS I went and put in some apps yesterday so dear goodness I hope I at least get a call back!

But this cute face is what's waiting for me, so I'm gonna get back to bed and cuddle with him for as long as I can before he wakes up and gets to playin his PS3 or messin with his BlackJack2. Check ya later!

The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.

OK, not really I was just watching The Simpsons and Sideshow Bob was trying to kill Brat (as you all should well know) when Bob and Lisa got into it about one of the quotes from Shakespeare's play Hamlet, which in turn made me think of The Taming of the Shrew and of course what female alive today can think of that play without thinking of that movie? No female alive that's who! Now what line stands out most in that movie? Well...a bunch I'm sure like "I want you, I need you, Oh baby Oh baby." (shot out to Tori O!) or "But most of all I hate the way I don't hate you, not even a little, not even at all." (Which, at this moment that quote is closest to my heart) ANYWAYS though, for many reasons I have ALWAYS loved this line. It's just...Dorky and funny and it makes me giggle. So deal with it. Yeah, that's right I said just DEAL with it.

So, right now I should be doing other things like taking a shower and then packing up our airbed to take back to Wal*Mart to exchange, then going to see if we have any mail, then doing my hair and waiting for Tommy and Makayla to pick me up so we can leave. However I have so much on my mind right now that I can't even put most into words I fear that if I take a shower I'll have to think about it all because there will be nothing else to keep my mind on, at the same time though by typing it out I'm thinking about it and that's no good because I'm also listening to music that doesn't help with how I'm feeling as well. Gah, things are so up in the air right now I just want to scream. I need a job. I NEED a job, I need something to help keep my mind busy so I can stop thinking of everything that happened and try to get over it. However the second I'm alone it hits me, and I HATE it. I hate feeling helpless like I have been. I really should go take a shower though, and I need to see if our mail has come yet. *sigh* That's all for now I guess...Wow this was a random ass post.

Music, Movies, TV...Yes, I know I'm a Nerd.

So, I'm bored, and there isn't anything for me to do. I've cleaned, I have a load of cloths going right now, and it's only 10:10 so I still have two hours until Tommy calls from his lunch break sooooooo I thought why not do ANOTHER post, but this time with a little about me...Like what Music I like, and movies, and TV shows....Because I'm bored and I want to and you can't stop me! HAHA!

SO let us start.

Movies:

Music:



The Tube:


Ok, so that's just a few...But I'm bored again and I need to eat soon before Tommy finds out I'm not eating and scolds me. Sooo...That's it for now. Tata!

My Little Family.

So, as you all well know Tommy is the father of a 21 month old named Makayla. She's the sweetest, smartest, cutest thing that you will ever see and she's become my life. I love this girl with all my heart and would do anything in my power to keep her happy and safe and away from the harsh things that life tends to throw our way. Any chance I get I try to show off my little family. It's something I'm beyond proud of, it's taken Tommy and I a LONG time to get to where we are today, we've had many ups and downs that took years for us to over come, grow up from, and be able to approach this thing (our love) as adults and be able to deal with the strong emotions that when we were younger weren't ready for. I love the little moments that we have together, like when we're laying in bed together, cuddling while watching TV and Makayla will come out of no where to jump on us, or sit on our faces and she just gives you her dimple smile and stares at you with her big brown eyes that you can't help but laugh and give in to her need for attention. She knows how to bring this light and calmness into a room just by doing something random like a little half laugh (You know...instead of HAHA it's just HA) or by randomly screaming happily and clapping. She's the mini-female verison of Tommy and with just one look at her and her actions you can tell. As I said before, I love showing off my little family, and I love talking about them whenever I get the chance. I'm a lucky girl, no question about it.

Hola!

So, this is Amanda's fault...Sorta. I've been thinking lately how it's hard to keep up with all of my loved ones in Arizona, because I just get so busy and caught up here that I needed a way to keep them all up to date and let them know I'm alive without having to go to 25 million diffterent Myspace pages. Then I got an e-mail from Mandy about her new blog and after looking it over it hit me...Uh...DUH! A blog, I can write about what's going on, vent about what's pissing me off, post pictures and whenever someone wants to know how I am they can just head over, check it out, and comment if they want! Mawhaha....I feel silly for not thinking of it before! So yes...Here is my new blog, I hope you guys like and I hope I have a lot to write about. We'll seeeeeeeee....